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Weird, Extraordinary and Record-Breaking Laptops

Posted by Jesper Berg

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Here are the laptops that break one record or another, be it oldest, ugliest, cheapest or just very out of the ordinary.

First / Oldest

The Osborne 1 was more like a fairly large desktop PC with a glued-on handle, but it was the first portable computer nonetheless. It was released in 1981 and came equipped with a built-in 5-inch screen, dual floppy drives and a 4MHz Zilog Z80 processor – bleeding-edge technology at the time. All of it weighed in at 23.5 pounds without the battery, and could be lugged around in its own casing. An enormous battery with an hour’s worth of fieldwork was available separately.

Cheapest

It was recently reported through ‘reliable’ sources that a laptop with an intended $10 price tag was being developed in India as an alternative to the “too-expensive” 100-dollar laptop from the One Laptop Per Child project. The “Sakshat” laptop would be delivered with 2GB of RAM and wireless capability – quite impressive for a 10-dollar laptop. News of the laptop was met with a healthy dose of skepticism, and unsurprisingly the rumor turned out to be false. In reality, the Sakshat ‘laptop’ turned out to be some sort of storage device “containing megabytes of data” which can be accessed from a laptop - all of it suddenly sounding much less impressive.

Most Expensive

So, you have the latest MacBook Pro with all the bells and whistles, plus you had it gold plated to give it a little personal touch? Doesn't matter – it’s still a cheap piece of refuse compared to this laptop from Luvaglio. If you have a $1,000,000 laptop budget you might be able to buy one. There’s one hitch though; even if you arrive with cash in hand, you must first receive a personal invitation from some high-up at Luvaglio. There seems to be very little information available about the specs, but apparently it has a ‘self-cleaning screen’ and a rare diamond doubles as the power button.

Thinnest

No, it's not the MacBook Air actually; it's Hewlett Packard's Voodoo Envy 133 – a 13-inch marvel in a glossy carbon fiber chassis. Just like the MacBook Air, it’s excessively pricey and not particularly fast. However unlike the MacBook Air, it ships with Windows Vista. To avoid scaring off too many consumers with the famous ’Vista Experience’, Voodoo has opted to include an instant-on Linux variant with some useful features as well.

Most Futuristic

It’s common knowledge that the future is all about holograms. Designer Eno Setiawan is evidently also aware of this fact, and using yet-to-be-seen technology he designed this (unofficial) Vaio Zoom concept laptop. As long as it’s turned off, the glass screen remains transparent, but turn it on and the holographic fun begins. Everything is touch-sensitive and highly holographic on this laptop including the keyboard and mouse buttons.

Most Unavailable

Modding wizard Benjamin J Heckendorn disassembled a Playstation 3, and after some miraculous handwaving he had put the parts together to form the first, and probably only, PS3 laptop. In reality it took about 14 months, and then this one-of-a-kind machine was auctioned off for charity at Engadget.com. It’s not likely in line for mass production at Sony sweatshops, but if you desperately want one and have a lot of spare time, you can give Ben’s own DIY instructions a try.

Most Steampunk

This amazing contraption by a Japanese inventor was originally thought to be a sculpture, and it would definitely pass for a piece of art. But as it turns out it’s a fully working laptop, complete with USB ports, trackball and Morse key.

Ugliest

There are a lot of ugly laptops out there and more are being made by Acer as we speak. There is one laptop that puts even Acer’s crappy ‘Gemstone’ design to shame however: the La Vie Hello Kitty laptop. It is not only extremely ugly - this nauseatingly pink laptop is also quite expensive. Kitty herself is surrounded by four hearts and the whole thing is incrusted in 299 Swarovski crystals. The price is $1,650 and it’s available in Japan only, according to Laptop Logic.

Best Toilet Seat Resemblance

Apple gets credit for designing the first toilet-seat-resembling laptop, or iBook as it was also known as. However, taking a dump in the Tulip Ego Diamond laptop is bound to feel much more rewarding. Its design features “precious diamonds set with surgical precision” and it’s also inlaid with white gold and platinum. For about $350,000 you can have one of these laptops, which come with an AMD Turion processor and 1GB of RAM.

Best Laptop Prank

And finally, a reminder to always password-protect your laptop.

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